The Misadventures of Super Harold
by TitanWolf
Summary: borrowed from Amythest Ocean. Harold is back and he brings more destruction then last time!
1. Civic Duty

Super Harold

**Disclaimer i own nothing**

Chapter 1

The self proclaimed hero of Canada was walking to school thinking about what kind of super heroics he would do to help the citizens today. As he thought this he walked past two murders, a mugging, and a bank robbery. As he turned the corner he saw a little old lady standing beside a stop signal, all of a sudden a boy scout appeared and grabbed her arm and started across the street.

"Oh no that boy scout's trying to kidnap that little old lady, this looks like a job for Super Harold!" he shouted and jumped into the conveniently placed phone booth, he jumped out in a flash costume.

"What the?!" he shouted and jumped back in, when he came out he was wearing his own costume. Blue tights, pink underwear, gloves, boots and a pink cape. He used his super speed to tackle the boy scout to the ground and began punching his face. The old lady started smacking him on the back of his head with her cane.

"Stop that you hooligan!" she shouted, Harold looked over his shoulder and grabbed her cane.

"Thanks citizen just what I needed!" he said before he started hitting the fallen boy scout, who passed out from pain by now.

"Teach… you… to… kidnap… old… ladies" he said in between swings. When he finished he handed the cane back to the old lady.

"No need to thank me ma'am just doing my civic duty" he said before flying away. As the old lady helped the boy scout the light turned green and an 18 wheeler ran them over and skidded before causing a massive pile up.

After school Harold went home, he was watching his favorite cartoons when a news report came on.

_"Today the menace of Canada has struck again, this time he beat a boy scout unconscious. After he left the scene the boy and the old lady were run over and killed by an 18 wheeler that then proceeded to skid and caused a massive pileup that killed over three hundred people" the reporter said._

"Oops" Harold said before he turned on his Xbox 360 and started playing Marvel Ultimate Alliance.

End Chapter 1

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	2. An Amateur Meets An Icon

Chapter 2

**Disclaimer i own nothing**

The Fortress of Solitude

Superman was cleaning under his bed when their was a knock at the door, putting down the broom he went to answer it. When he reached he stopped to think, who would come all the way up here. No many people that's who. Preparing himself he opened the door.

"Eeeeeeeh its you!" he squealed girlishly.

"Uh yeah" Harold said hesitantly.

"Wait here!" Superman said, he ran to his bedroom and opened his closet. Pictures of Harold were everywhere, also a tiny statue made of his discarded chewing gum. He grabbed his autograph book and ran quickly back to the door.

"Can I have your autograph?" he asked, shoving the book and a pen into Harold's face.

"anything for a fan" Harold said, puffing his chest out. As he signed the book, Superman bounced on his heels.

"I hope I can be as good a superhero as you one day".

"Sure you will son, sure you will" Harold said, handing the book back and tousled Superman's hair.

"Thank you thank you thank you!".

"No problem… oh yeah happy birthday" he said, pulling a gift wrapped box out from behind his back.

"For me?".

"Yep, I took it from a bald guy in a suit and thought you might like it" he said before flying away, Superman watched him go waving.

"Goodbye Super Harold, I love you!" he shouted and made his way back inside.

"Oh boy, I wonder what it is?" he asked himself, opening the box he pulled out a rock that began to glow green.

"Kryptonite!" he shouted before gurgling and clutching his throat before he collapsed.

Making his way home Harold turned on the TV to watch the news.

_Today the world mourns the death of the greatest superhero of all time._

"I didn't die" Harold said.

_Yes today the world weeps for Superman, cut down in his own fortress. The cause Kryptonite, the assassin is unknown._

"Jeeze one rookie kicks the bucket and the world acts like it's a big deal" Harold said, turning off the TV.

End Chapter 2

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	3. Love Harold Style

Chapter 3

**Disclaimer i own nothing**

Harold was flying around the city when he saw the most beautiful girl standing in the park. She had short brown hair, marks over her eyes. She was wearing a black body suit with fur covering several places on the suit. Hearts started floating beside Harold's head and his eyes bulged out of his head as he zoomed down and began planting kisses up Squirrel Girl's arm.

"Ew get off you freak!" she exclaimed and took a step back. As she turned around she saw Harold holding out a bouquet of roses.

"For you" he said, he handed them to her and she tossed them back in his face. When he cleared his glasses he saw that she was gone. He used his X-ray vision to see her running through the trees.

"Oh no she could get hurt I must save her!" he exclaimed and began knocking the trees down with his heat vision. The trees began to burn and crack and fall. the small woodland creature trying to escape were either burned alive, crushed by falling trees, or being crushed but living only to be burned alive. Squirrel Girl watch this in horror and began calling the squirrels to her. They came in droves to her. Led by Tippy Toe.

"Quickly make your escape from here, this way!" she shouted and began leading them to safety. Meanwhile Harold was watching the trees burn, the light reflecting off his glasses.

"Pretty" he said as the carnage continued. Half an hour later the fire died down and all the trees were gone. Harold flew up into the air, he looked around for Squirrel Girl and saw her surrounded by thousands of squirrels that were climbing all over her.

"No those disgusting furry rat are attacking her!" he shouted and flew down to the ground. Squirrel Girl saw him coming and rolled her eyes.

"Not again" she muttered as Harold landed on the ground. He struck a pose and pointed toward the squirrels.

"Get away from my girlfriend!" he said, his voice full of strength.

"Beat it your not my-".

"Fear not my love, I shall save you" he flew up into the air and over to a building and yanked off a billboard. He bent it into a bowl and used it to scoop the squirrels up before tossing them up into the air. He used his heat vision to heat up the make shift bowl, causing it to heat up and blow up. Little meaty chunks fell from the sky and Squirrel Girl watched in horror as a charred squirrel still whole fell at her feet.

Harold landed and made his way over to her and picked her up bridal style. As he prepared to carry her away Tippy Toe ran up and started chattering wildly.

"Whoops missed one" he said and raised his foot up and brought it down on the rodent with a squish. He picked his foot back up and brought it down again, he did this three more times then scraped his foot across the ground.

"That's that now lets-" he was cut off by Squirrel Girl jumping out of his arms and running in the street in front of a passing bus laughing manically, all that remained was a blood streak on the road. Harold put his hand to his chest.

"Alas how will I ever go on, will I ever love again will I-" he was cut off as Powergirl flew by.

"I'm over it" he said quickly and took off after the buxom superhero.

End Chapter 3

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